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Our long national breakfast taco nightmare is finally over

At long last, peace in our time.

With an escalating culinary battle threatening to destabilize the region, the mayors of Austin and San Antonio met Thursday morning to announce a taco truce.

“As St. Paul admonishes us, let us not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with breakfast tacos,” Austin Mayor Steve Adler said. “We will have guac in our times.”

Adler and San Antonio Mayor Ivy Taylor sought to bring to a close a weeks-long feud between their cities over which has the better breakfast tacos, proclaiming peace with the signing of the “I-35 Accords” and declaring each other’s tacos similarly delicious.

As the history books will show, the Great Breakfast Taco War of 2016 was first ignited by a provocative article in Eater Austin from writer Matthew Sedacca, headlined “How Austin Became the the Home of the Crucial Breakfast Taco.”

Soon thereafter, a petition on Change.org to exile Sedacca from Texas quickly gained over 1,700 signatures, describing the Eater article as a “churlishly negligent treatise.” Sedacca’s “wild inaccuracies, which dangerously approach libel,” the petition reads, “have already stirred the ire of many South Texas communities and further discord may loom on the horizon.” Competing op-eds in the cities’ respective newspapers only further escalated the conflict.

But, proclaiming March 10, 2016 as “Breakfast Taco Day,” Adler and Taylor sought to put aside their differences and embrace their mutual appreciation of the popular morning meal.

“What we must do and what we will do is lead,” Adler said alongside Taylor at Austin’s downtown Hilton hotel. “And that means celebrating the fact that there is more that unites our tacos than divides them. Let us break our fast with the tortilla of hope and the egg of peace.”

And so possibly the dumbest controversy ever – okay, maybe the dumbest one of 2016 so far – comes to an end. Now go and eat whatever breakfast taco you like best. It’s all good. The Rivard Report has more.

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2 Comments

  1. Joel says:

    keep thse “controversies” coming.

    for once, adler is not out of his depth.

  2. Joel says:

    keep these “controversies” coming.

    for once, adler is not out of his depth (although it was touch and go there for awhile).