Category Archives: Blog stuff

Wednesdays are the worst days for holidays, aren’t they? Are none of these people familiar with the expression “To Serve Man”? Even Michelle Duggar would shudder at this. Three words: Spray-on batteries. We live in amazing times. Recycle more, collect … Continue reading →

O Canada, our home and native land… You know, it’s a very short step from buying an island to hiring henchmen and building a doomsday device. I’m just saying. The Cookie Monster debate gets settled once and for all. Why … Continue reading →

The days are getting shorter already. Those who can, do. Those who aren’t asked to do, complain about it. I don’t care how Americans feel about broccoli. I still hate it. Learning about cocaine usage from what gets flushed down … Continue reading →

Happy birthday, Eileen! HBO doesn’t want to take your money unless you also give some of it to a cable or satellite company. Here’s a LEGO Star Wars MC Escher diorama. Do I really need to say more than that? … Continue reading →

Thanks, textbooks! Getting a Hugh Hefner First Amendment Award would have been way cooler than an invitation to join most of those college honor societies would have been. America 4 America. Microsoft will make Do Not Track the default in … Continue reading →

I want to be a designer of dinosaur sculptures when I grow up. Would you eat the Dark Vador burger if you were in a McDonald’s in France? Meet the young entrepreneur who squatted at AOL for three months while … Continue reading →

Summertime, and the living is easy… Why newspapers insist on printing what liars say is a mystery to me. This is the best argument I’ve seen against restaurants automatically adding a tip to the check. You can find life just … Continue reading →

The browser wars are back. Kids today aren’t interested in the culture wars. I’m there already, kids. What’s the point of choosing a secure password if you’re going to be forced to reveal it to someone? Facebook is killing text … Continue reading →

T-minus one day till the start of early voting… Some Mother’s Day cards from superhero comics. “Dear child, you are beautiful just the way you are. Not because you look or act a certain way, but because you bear the … Continue reading →

Only 25 more shopping days until hurricane season begins. I overshare, you overshare, we overshare. I can buy Pudge Rodriguez as one of the five best catchers in baseball history. But surely we know better than to use batting average … Continue reading →

No, you’re not imagining it. That Sunday talk show you watched this morning always has more Republicans on it. The “choices” women make around childrearing and career are often not really choices at all. Why did the Pioneer spacecraft slow … Continue reading →

There’s an alternate universe in which we now already know who most of our parties’ nominees are. Polarization is the norm in American politics, not the exception. Beware the gay icebergs and their radical gay iceberg agendas. Texts from my … Continue reading →

Mitt Romney has an elevator for his tax returns. Don’t worry, but don’t be too happy, either. I Was A Teenage Exorcist, coming up next on Fox. Some Angry Birds physics for you. More dinosaurs may have had feathers than … Continue reading →

Won’t someone please think of the Trekkies? Instead of increasing security for standardized tests we could de-emphasize them and thus not need all that security. News stories about people caught smuggling things in their pants are always noteworthy. Draping is … Continue reading →

F-f-f-foolin’… So did you buy Etch-A-Sketch stock last week? But how can you prove that someone loves formal logic or not? Be careful who you brag to about avoiding jury duty. I for one welcome our robotic jellyfish overlords. Rape … Continue reading →

I’d invest in the un-wiki if someone would be so kind as to invent it. What could go wrong with cloning a woolly mammoth? They’re not carnivores! Nothing like this happened to me while I was coaching Little League. I … Continue reading →

Happy day before Saint Joseph’s Day! All hail the 2016 GOP frontrunner. The first rule of committing crimes is to always check for cops before committing them. I’m pretty sure Jesus would not have done this. We’re about to get … Continue reading →