Texas has an erotic bakery in it!

Posted on May 25, 2005 by Charles Kuffner

All together now: Lord have mercy on our souls.

Yes, Texas has an erotic bakery in it. Specifically, Sugar Land has an erotic bakery (moderately NSFW) in it. And some people are not happy about that. Juanita tells the sad yet utterly hilarious story. You’ll finish your beverages before you start reading if you know what’s good for your monitor.

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6 Responses to Texas has an erotic bakery in it!

  1. Patrick says:
    May 25, 2005 at 3:52 pm

    I am taking this story as a sign from the Lord Almighty to repent. I must come clean. I have sinned. Nooky’s is not far from work and at lunch lately I have frequented this establishment.

    At first I was just looking, but like all great journeys, the road to perdition began with a single step. Nooky’s offered me a piece…of what vaguely looked like J-Lo’s bottom. I could not resist and greedily munched it down. Immediately after I did it I felt ashamed…dirty.

    I tried to resist later in the week, but the thoughts of that cake haunted me. Soon I was over every few days for the bosom shaped cherry topped cupcakes. But I ask you what redblooded man with a sweet tooth can resist a lap dance from a baker with trays of boobie cupcakes? I can’t.

    I’m begining to think it is a plot, though, because lately I’ve noticed flyers from the local Jos A. Banks advertising a sale with the line, “Is Nooky’s giving you a tight feeling in your pants? Our lightweight wool casual pants are now 20% off…”

  2. William Hughes says:
    May 25, 2005 at 5:25 pm

    Am I the only person that thinks Sugar Land is an appropriate name for a town with an erotic bakery? 🙂

  3. Jim Thompson says:
    May 25, 2005 at 6:25 pm

    Oh thank you, Kuff. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a very long time.

  4. CrispyShot says:
    May 25, 2005 at 9:33 pm

    (moderately NSFW)

    ?!?

    I don’t know where you work, Kuff… no, waitaminnit, I do… but I think the “moderately” doesn’t quite cut it. Just glad I checked it out after the kids are in bed!

    (Funny story, tho…)

  5. jeebs says:
    May 26, 2005 at 12:11 am

    My neice and her boyfriend brought my partner and I a bunch of stuff from Nookys a few weeks ago- they spent a few hours there and took pix with the owner and her daughter, and spent a fortune on naughty chocolates.

    The Juanita’s story doesn’t surprise me. What surprises me is that it’s not worse.

  6. quita says:
    March 6, 2006 at 11:54 pm

    man i love those cute little cakes. You have to hand it ot her. She is talented.

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