Who is all this Enron performance art for?

I have no idea.

The company that recently resurrected Enron’s fallen brand announced Friday it would host a “town hall” to address residents’ concerns after its CEO was allegedly targeted in a pie attack in New York.

Despite the Chronicle’s best efforts, nailing down the details of Enron’s supposed town hall proved an elusive task. The company did not respond to multiple requests for more information, and never publicly shared an address or time for the event. All Enron shared in terms of specifics was that it would be hosted “near Enron’s original headquarters.”

Efforts to RSVP to the town hall within minutes of the event being announced on social media were met with an automated response claiming it was full.

The company initially claimed the town hall was scheduled for Monday, but later shared pictures of a $50,000 check generously made to the “Citizens of Houston” dated Sunday.

It’s unclear who the beneficiaries of the check were intended to be, but the Chronicle was unable to verify any Houston resident receiving a payout as of Thursday evening. Enron did not respond to a request for clarification.

See here and here for the background. The story goes on from there, and I commend Chron reporter John Novax IV for his persistence and ability to keep a straight face. But look, phony checks aside, someone is providing the money to pay for this joke. I can’t tell who their audience is, or at least who they might think it is, let alone what they’re actually planning to do with them. I was going to go on a lengthy diatribe about this, but the Chron’s Gwen Howerton beat me to it.

What, exactly, is the joke here? They bought the trademark for $275 because it was a radioactive brand name. The countdown on its website promising more was sure to invite the curiosity of media outlets who, for some reason, cover it as if it’s a serious company. A brazenly fake pie-in-the-face stunt only furthered speculation. The “company” held a “town hall” in “Houston” with “Houstonians” where a $50 million check was made out to the “Citizens of Houston.” As of this writing, another countdown on the website promises even more in 18 days. Conveniently, the only thing on the website that’s clear is the very real and very overpriced merch that you can buy. The “company” has also applied for a wider patent to sell everything from Enron-branded beer to crypto.

Sure, perhaps it’s a bit funny that Enron would come back in an era of brazen corporate fraud. But again, how can you satirize a moment that is already beyond parody? One where people willingly participate in memecoin scams or AI hoaxes, where elderly dementia patients unwittingly donate their life savings to politicians and “sustainable” car companies dump wastewater into municipal sewer systems?

Just as Zombie Enron is not a real company and shouldn’t be treated as such, it isn’t particularly good or interesting parody, either. It’s also not particularly funny. Don’t just take it from me; former Enron employees aren’t laughing. What it is, then, is just another stunt built to capture your attention and your hard-earned cash. In an era where attention is a commodity, I am begging you to not give the Enron guys any more of it. Their 15 minutes of fame have long expired.

I’ll probably continue to pay attention just because I want to see how this ends. You should feel free to tap out. Oh, and because I can’t help myself, the check in question was for fifty thousand and not fifty million, but if you look at the picture, you can see where that bit of confusion may have arisen. I’ll stop now.

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