Don’t want no short people round here

What the world needs now is a list of the greatest short dudes of all time.

Angus Young, lead singer-guitarist of AC/DC, tops Maxim’s list of the “25 greatest short dudes of all time,” standing tall at 5 feet 2 inches.

NBA guard Spud Webb, at 5 feet 7 inches, is No. 2, followed by Napoleon Bonaparte (5 feet 4 inches), Naim Suleymanoglu (4 feet 11 inches) and Yuri Gagarin (5 feet 2 inches).

The magazine, in its December issue, claims to be helping women “begin a long overdue fight against their genetically determined shallowness when choosing a partner.”

Yoda, at No. 6, is the shortest on the list. His height is calculated at 2 feet 2 inches.

Other great short dudes: Martin Scorsese, Jon Stewart, Prince, Kurt Cobain and two of the Hobbits from The Lord of the Rings films — Elijah Wood and Sean Astin.

The tallest “short dude”? Pro football player Doug Flutie, at 5 feet 10 inches, who is ranked at No. 24.

I’m five foot eight. Should I be offended that I was left off the list, or should I console myself with the thought that they didn’t think 5’8″ was “short”?

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6 Responses to Don’t want no short people round here

  1. Prove Our Democracy with Paper Ballots says:

    I thought 5′ 10″ was average size for guys so that 6′ was tall, making 5’8″ on the cusp for a symmetrical bell curve.

    So, perhaps if you are that tall with shoes on you are on one side of the cusp and if you are that tall barefooted, you are on the other side of the cusp.

    I don’t know, just making this stuff up as I go along.

    Jon Stewart would be my vote.

  2. Support Science to Reverse Global Warming, if still possible says:

    …by your works…

    At this level of influence and great works they are all giants.

  3. William Hughes says:

    Greetings from Vienna! I’m taking a trip through central Europe at the moment, but I needed to comment on this.

    I know Maxim is a U.S. magazine, otherwise, you would have two of the greatest soccer players of all time on the list. Pele is 5 feet 7 inches tall and Diego Maradonna is generously listed at 5 feet 5 inches tall (he is closer to 5 feet 3 inches tall).

    By the way, I’m 5 feet 6 inches tall. 🙂

  4. Support Science to Reverse Global Warming, if still possible says:

    wait a minute…

    about the statement from the article:

    …claims to be helping women “begin a long overdue fight against their genetically determined shallowness when choosing a partner.”

    …should instead of thinking in terms of “genetic shallowness” should rather help all men by helping all women begin or continue to “consider a larger pool of potential partners” not based on genetically determined anything but rather their good works…leadership that increases everyone’s survivability would be very appealling.

    …for more information about and for women see:

    http://www.nyu.edu/classes/siva/
    Ann Bartow of Columbia, SC

  5. Support Science to Reverse Global Warming, if still possible says:

    If someone tries to peg any negative meaning to short or small, then make it count for something…

    How small is DeLay?

    Make that the actual and symbolic measurement for short or small as his fight against science is endangering everyone’s survival from extinction by global warming.

  6. Mathwiz says:

    I always thought it was us men who were characterized by “genetically determined shallowness when choosing a partner.” We’re so easily swayed by a great pair of legs and/or breasts; I’m not sure women in general are motivated by anything that shallow. (I could be wrong, though; especially if money is considered.)

    Anyway, as far as what constitutes “short,” it looks as if it’s relative to context: 5’10” isn’t “short” for average dudes, but it is pretty short for NFL quarterbacks. My guess is that 5’8″ isn’t particularly short for bloggers, so you shouldn’t feel offended, Kuff.

    It does make one wonder, though; who is the world’s best short blogger? Markos, perhaps?

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