Settle in, kids, this is going to be a long one. We start with the original version of this classic, performed by Them, a “Northern Irih rock band featuring Van Morrison”, who are not to be confused with Them!, a 1954 sci-fi classic featuring giant ants. Anyway, here’s Gloria by Them:
I should interject at this point that Dave Barry considers “Gloria” to be the best song ever, and he once got to perform it with Bruce Springsteen, which I think would color anyone’s view of it. Be that as it may, if you know me at all, you already know that one of my favorite versions of this song is the disco-ified version of it by Santa Esmerelda:
I unabashedly and unironically love that. Moving into slightly different territory, here’s Patti Smith, backed in this rendition by Jools Holland and his band:
It’s like she tacks an entirely different song onto the beginning of the song we’re familiar with. Well, mostly the song we’re familiar with. If she’d called it something else, we’d just say she was quoting from “Gloria”.
Of course, not every “Gloria” is this song. Here’s U2’s “Gloria”, from their very early days:
Ah, that hair. It’s always about the hair, isn’t it? Speaking of people with great hair, and a voice to match, here is Laura Branigan and her massively popular “Gloria”, from 1982:
Rest in peace, Laura Branigan. That’s all the Glorias I’ve got. Hope you enjoyed them.
That was cool!
And the Patti Smith performance was a better version of that song than she had on her “Horses” album.