“On another occasion, Mr. [redacted] told Ms. [redacted] not to dream of [redacted]’s Chief Financial Officer wearing a singlet wrestling his prom date while naked midgets are cheering for him on the sidelines using Siamese furry cats as pom poms!”
“A 30-year-old computer that has run day and night for decades is what controls the heat and air conditioning at 19 Grand Rapids Public Schools.”
“Let’s take a second to marvel at how bizarre racism really is: If one your great-great-grandparents happened to be dark-skinned, you couldn’t sit where you wanted on a bus in Alabama. That’s not science, man, it’s just stupid.”
Product placement makes the world go ’round.
Oh, just a photo of a raccoon riding on the back of an alligator, somewhere in the swamps of Florida. Though I’m sure it’s a metaphor for something.
If you’ve ever wanted to see John Cleese and Eric Idle together on stage doing John Cleese and Eric Idle things, this may be your chance.
Three words: Cowboy sandal boots. Oh, hell no.
Remember when Bobby Jindal was supposed to be the smart one? LOL.
“Yeah, or that’s just what the lampreys want you to think. THINK ABOUT IT.”
“Humblebragging – bragging masked by a complaint – is a distinct and, given the rise of social media, increasingly ubiquitous form of self-promotion. We show that although people often choose to humblebrag when motivated to make a good impression, it is an ineffective self-promotional strategy.”
Some good news for you Laurel and Hardy fans out there.
“President Obama has quietly recruited top tech talent from the likes of Google and Facebook. Their mission: to reboot how government works.”
“The presidential election carries hugely important stakes, not just in policy realms where the president wields significant influence on her own, like foreign policy and judicial appointments, but also on domestic policy. It’s just that the stakes have nothing to do with Clinton’s proposals. What’s at stake is the Paul Ryan budget.”
RIP, Blaze Starr, iconic burlesque performer.
“Trump’s greatest genius is offering the same political analysis we hear on sober Sunday talk shows, delivered in the language of a vulgar oaf.”
Dear Republican Presidential candidates: You would be wise to stop using music that you don’t have permission by the artist to use.
One possible reason why famous fancy pundits lie so much.
RIP, John David Crow, 1957 Heisman Trophy winner from Texas A&M.
“We have, quite likely, found at 110 Calhoun Street in Charleston, South Carolina, the place where Columbine, Aurora, and Newtown cross with Baltimore, Ferguson, and Sanford. We periodically mourn the deaths of a group of Americans who die at the hands of another armed American. We periodically witness racial injustices that inspire anger in the streets. And sometimes we witness both. This is, quite simply, how we now live.”
“We will be told, in the aftermath of this act of terrorism, that it was the work of a lone individual — an aberration resulting from the aberrant behavior of a single disturbed man. But that claim is not credible. It requires us to ignore what we have seen and known for generations. It requires us to pretend that we are too ignorant to recognize the clear pattern, to pretend to forget that we have seen this same violent terror carrying this same violent message before, endlessly repeated. And it asks us to pretend that we do not know that we will see it again and again.”
“Visitors to Charleston have long been treated to South Carolina’s attempt to clean its history and depict its secession as something other than a war to guarantee the enslavement of the majority of its residents. This notion is belied by any serious interrogation of the Civil War and the primary documents of its instigators. Yet the Confederate battle flag—the flag of Dylann Roof—still flies on the Capitol grounds in Columbia.”
These pictures say it all.
“Since 9/11, right-wing terrorists have killed more than five times as many people as Islamist ones. Yet a short study warning to keep a watchful attitude towards the former is met with enraged hostility. It reveals both the small actual danger of Islamist terrorism, and the utterly ridiculous and hypocritical way in which anti-terrorism resources are allocated.”
“We’ve successfully created a world so topsy-turvy that seeking medical help for depression or anxiety is apparently stronger evidence of violent tendencies than going out and purchasing a weapon whose only purpose is committing acts of violence. We’ve got a narrative going where doing the former is something we’re OK with stigmatizing but not the latter. God bless America.”
“Love is always stronger than hate. So if we just love the way my mom would, then the hate won’t be anywhere close to where the love is.”