Once again I marvel at The Onion‘s ability to stay ahead of the satire curve as I read this story about Jerry Springer, who’s contemplating a run for US Senate in Ohio in 2004.
Springer, a Democrat, said he’ll decide by summer whether to challenge George Voinovich, a Republican who has said he’ll run for a second term in 2004.
He acknowledged that his nationally syndicated “Jerry Springer Show” could work against him. Guests divulge their intimate secrets — and frequently strip down to their intimate apparel — on episodes with titles like “Your Lover Is Mine!” and “Explosive Betrayals!”
“Intimate apparel” must be some code for “bare-assed pixillated nekkidness”, without which products like this would never make it to the market, let alone be top sellers. But whatever.
“There are pluses and minuses,” Springer said. “The plus is that I’m known by everybody. The minus is that I’m known by everybody.”
Springer figures it would take $20 million to beat Voinovich and as much as $5 million to win a Democratic primary.
“I have the resources,” the 59-year-old millionaire said Wednesday night before speaking at the winter meeting of the Ohio Democratic Party Chairs Association.
Springer is a former Cincinnati mayor and councilman who lost the Democratic primary for governor in 1982 and considered running for the Senate in 2000. He said he also may run for Cincinnati mayor in 2005 or governor in 2006.
“I want to be helpful in rebuilding the party,” he said. “Whether I have to be a candidate is a totally separate issue. … I don’t need a job.”
Well, hell. If Ted Nugent can think about running for Governor in Michigan as a Republican, I guess Jerry Springer can think about running for Senate as a Democrat. I don’t think it’ll do much to help the national ticket, but I won’t be surprised if conditions are such that the result is preordained one way or the other, so I may as well have something entertaining to look forward to.
Well, why not? This is, after all, a man who managed to get elected mayor of Cincinnati after he was caught paying a prostitute with a personal check….
Having either Nugent or Springer in public office is a national embarassment. Let either of them discuss politics and endorse their political issues, but goodness, states can do better than electing whatever weird celebrity comes along.
I wouldn’t have a problem voting for a reputable (ie not Springer) celebrity for a senate spot, if I agreed with their views. I’d be hard-pressed to vote for one for governor (and yes, that’d include Reagan), though it’d depend on the circumstances.
ANYONE WHO HAS EXCEL DATA FILES FROM ANY COUNTY IN TEXAS FOR 2004, 2002 OR 2000, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I NEED THEM FOR A PROJECT. THEY DON’T SEEM TO BE ON THE SOS SITE.