Tag Archives: linkdump

Photobombed by an ostrich. If that’s not a meme, it should be. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m going to listen to music when I want to. You can’t increase your metabolism by exercising. Haven’t we all seen this … Continue reading →

Happy Contraceptive Mandate Week! Here’s something you can do to make it a little more awesome. Also, too, this and this. You want to watch brown bears fishing for salmon, don’t you? Of course you do. Two words: Exploding termites. … Continue reading →

Homo sapiens were once close to extinction. If that ever happens again, it’ll be for very different reasons. Who knew “Three’s Company” had lawyers? The cows would want you to support marriage equality, Chick-Fil-A. Your statement about treating every person … Continue reading →

I don’t know about you, but I’m still full from National Junk Food Day yesterday. When you absolutely, positively need a quote from an industry shill to make your story sound more genuine. “I think all the people in the … Continue reading →

Everything’s bigger in Texas, including our dogs. The best use for a Wal-Mart I’ve ever heard of. Not having a car is a good way to avoid traffic. The most amazing story about bowling you’ll read today. Judge Richard Posner … Continue reading →

Wednesdays are the worst days for holidays, aren’t they? Are none of these people familiar with the expression “To Serve Man”? Even Michelle Duggar would shudder at this. Three words: Spray-on batteries. We live in amazing times. Recycle more, collect … Continue reading →

O Canada, our home and native land… You know, it’s a very short step from buying an island to hiring henchmen and building a doomsday device. I’m just saying. The Cookie Monster debate gets settled once and for all. Why … Continue reading →

The days are getting shorter already. Those who can, do. Those who aren’t asked to do, complain about it. I don’t care how Americans feel about broccoli. I still hate it. Learning about cocaine usage from what gets flushed down … Continue reading →

Happy birthday, Eileen! HBO doesn’t want to take your money unless you also give some of it to a cable or satellite company. Here’s a LEGO Star Wars MC Escher diorama. Do I really need to say more than that? … Continue reading →

Thanks, textbooks! Getting a Hugh Hefner First Amendment Award would have been way cooler than an invitation to join most of those college honor societies would have been. America 4 America. Microsoft will make Do Not Track the default in … Continue reading →

I want to be a designer of dinosaur sculptures when I grow up. Would you eat the Dark Vador burger if you were in a McDonald’s in France? Meet the young entrepreneur who squatted at AOL for three months while … Continue reading →

Summertime, and the living is easy… Why newspapers insist on printing what liars say is a mystery to me. This is the best argument I’ve seen against restaurants automatically adding a tip to the check. You can find life just … Continue reading →

The browser wars are back. Kids today aren’t interested in the culture wars. I’m there already, kids. What’s the point of choosing a secure password if you’re going to be forced to reveal it to someone? Facebook is killing text … Continue reading →

T-minus one day till the start of early voting… Some Mother’s Day cards from superhero comics. “Dear child, you are beautiful just the way you are. Not because you look or act a certain way, but because you bear the … Continue reading →

Only 25 more shopping days until hurricane season begins. I overshare, you overshare, we overshare. I can buy Pudge Rodriguez as one of the five best catchers in baseball history. But surely we know better than to use batting average … Continue reading →

No, you’re not imagining it. That Sunday talk show you watched this morning always has more Republicans on it. The “choices” women make around childrearing and career are often not really choices at all. Why did the Pioneer spacecraft slow … Continue reading →

There’s an alternate universe in which we now already know who most of our parties’ nominees are. Polarization is the norm in American politics, not the exception. Beware the gay icebergs and their radical gay iceberg agendas. Texts from my … Continue reading →

Mitt Romney has an elevator for his tax returns. Don’t worry, but don’t be too happy, either. I Was A Teenage Exorcist, coming up next on Fox. Some Angry Birds physics for you. More dinosaurs may have had feathers than … Continue reading →

Won’t someone please think of the Trekkies? Instead of increasing security for standardized tests we could de-emphasize them and thus not need all that security. News stories about people caught smuggling things in their pants are always noteworthy. Draping is … Continue reading →

F-f-f-foolin’… So did you buy Etch-A-Sketch stock last week? But how can you prove that someone loves formal logic or not? Be careful who you brag to about avoiding jury duty. I for one welcome our robotic jellyfish overlords. Rape … Continue reading →

I’d invest in the un-wiki if someone would be so kind as to invent it. What could go wrong with cloning a woolly mammoth? They’re not carnivores! Nothing like this happened to me while I was coaching Little League. I … Continue reading →

Happy day before Saint Joseph’s Day! All hail the 2016 GOP frontrunner. The first rule of committing crimes is to always check for cops before committing them. I’m pretty sure Jesus would not have done this. We’re about to get … Continue reading →

It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad month. Sinead O’Connor was way ahead of her time, wasn’t she? “[O]ur medical system is an octopus riding a donkey riding a skateboard into a sadness quarry.” “Real prophets are always also pastors. And … Continue reading →

It’s madness, I tell you. Here’s the best argument I’ve ever seen for wearing tight, revealing clothes. Pinterest may need to emulate YouTube to ward off copyright issues. You would think that the Mets would have bigger things to worry … Continue reading →

I hope your Valentine’s Day was not as exciting as theirs was. A proper apology for an honest screwup is never a bad idea. I guess investing in North Korea could be a good idea. Seems awfully risky to me, … Continue reading →

Happy birthday, Justine Bateman! Don’t be too smug about your eco-friendly lifestyle. I’d like to be the fact checker for New Yorker cartoons. Remember “voodoo math”? Mitt Romney makes that look like basic algebra. Do you want fewer fries with … Continue reading →

Happy 203rd birthday, Abe Lincoln! You don’t look a day over 200. The Off the Kuff Facebook page needs three Likes to get to 200. Can you help? TV networks do all kinds of shady things to boost ratings. How … Continue reading →

Isn’t there some kind of football game on today? Speaking of football, when anti-immigrant hysteria forces your team to lose a prized recruit, maybe the human cost of said hysteria will begin to be made clear to those fanning its … Continue reading →

To everything there is a season, and that season starts with pitchers and catchers. “If you are a consumer of conservative media, you get constant reminders — every day, multiple times a day — that you absolutely must not believe … Continue reading →

Enjoy that penultimate weekend of football while you still can. I have long thought that what the world needs is more pee-powered electronics. I don’t recall there being anything about this in the Bible. That naughty e-book you just downloaded … Continue reading →

Happy MLK Day! If you live in Cinco ranch, you’re probably stuck in traffic right now. Oh, the irony of it all. If there ever were such a thing as “Sam’s Club Republicans”, one wonders if they’ve realized how badly … Continue reading →

Has Harold Camping had a conversation with the Mayans yet? The third party fetish could be especially damaging this year. Sometimes the old ways are the best ways. The etymology of “oops”, which I found via Susie Bright‘s remarks on … Continue reading →

Are things better yet? Who does a celebrity kid have influence over, anyway? Maybe this year scumbags like Jamie Dimon will come to understand why people loathe them. I’m not counting on it, though. “On behalf of all gays and … Continue reading →

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling… 2011 was a year of very expensive weather. If you want to complain about your tax rate, you should first know what your tax rate is. If Watson can help kill patent trolls, that … Continue reading →